Parenting Tips

Compassion means we care about others, treat them with kindness, and feel a strong desire to help people in need. Compassion is empathy in action. For a three-year-old, compassion might look like giving a hug or drawing a picture to help a sad friend or family member. Noticing someone else’s distress and wanting to respond is the foundation of compassion.

As kids grow, they face many new things. Starting school. Meeting new friends. Learning to swim. Competing in sports. Learning to drive. Each new thing can feel like a big step forward.

I think every parent of a preschooler has had that moment where their child is bored but everything they suggest is a no, or their child wants to draw with crayons… but only with Mom or Dad, not alone. Sometimes this whole idea of “independent play” seems like it’s a parenting myth.

Courage involves making good choices in the face of fear or obstacles. It’s another term for bravery. Remember: Bravery doesn’t mean fearlessness. It means we do not let fear hold us back from exploring new opportunities, developing our skills, and doing what is right. For an eight-year-old, courage might look like reaching out to a peer who needs help, sticking with a challenging academic problem, or performing on stage for the first time.

Emotional self-awareness involves identifying and understanding one's emotions ― including "big feelings" that can sometimes overwhelm us. As Fred Rogers reminds us: "When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary."

My daughter is persistence personified — she’ll sit in front of a puzzle for hours until it’s done, testing piece after piece in space after space. As a middle schooler, she tried multiple approaches to figure out a tough math problem, even looking up video examples, all on her own before asking for help. My second child is altogether different. Puzzles, with their ornery, uncooperative pieces, get about three minutes of his attention. Tough homework problems can create a cascade of stress and overwhelm. Why is this? Persistence.

Good friends provide us with support from childhood through adulthood. It takes practice to learn how to be a good friend – practice at being kind, supportive, trustworthy, and a good listener.